What's funny about being from a country whose dictator denies you even exist? For gay Iranian-American comic Mehran Khaghani, humor is the best weapon. He'll be performing in There Are No Gays in Iran at Café du Nord, Friday, March 12, with straight comics Amir Malekpour, Tissa Hami and Max Amini, who each dispel myths and muses about their culture through humor.

When asked, what is funny about dictatorial oppression, Khaghani quickly replies, "Well, there's dick, first."

Khaghani has a few nicknames for Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who publicly declared that Iran has no homosexuals. A favorite: Napoleon II: Electric Boogaloo.

"He's basically a midget who's getting away with it," Khaghani said. "He's gotten in bed with the right people; he's essentially blown the status quo to get where he is. This guy isn't some revolutionary thinker, but smaller. He's like a fifth-generation asshole, donning Men's Wearhouse jackets so he can seem like a man of the people."

There Are No Gays in Iran at Café du Nord, Friday March 12. Iranian-American comics Mehran Khaghani, Amir Malekpour, Tissa Hami and Max Amini perform. $35. 8pm. 2170 Market St. 861-5016. www.iranian.com/comedyshow.html  www.cafedunord.com

 For more with Khaghani, read "Making Fun" on www.ebar.com.

Want more comedy? Friday, March 12, Chelsea Handler performs at the Masonic Auditorium and then Davies Hall; yes, in one night. The comic and TV host does two back-to-back shows at Masonic Auditorium ($46-$76, 8pm, 1111 California St. 776-4702), then 10:30pm at Davies ($45-$112, 10:30pm, 201 Van Ness Ave. 864-6000). www.chelseahandler.com  

Funny Tuesdays at Harvey's, the weekly LGBT and gay-friendly comedy night, this week has Susan Maletta as guest-host. Mary Von Note, Miles K, and Jen Slusser perform. Free. One-drink minimum. March 16, 9pm. 500 Castro St. at 18th. 431-HARV. www.harveyssf.com  

Thu 11

Asian American Film Festival
@ Castro Theatre

Opening night of the annual festival of movies from around the world with Asian themes and stories; opening night film, Today's Special. $35-$55. 7pm. 429 Castro St. 621-6120. Thru March 21. www.asianamericanmedia.org   www.castrotheatre.com

California Academy of Sciences @ Golden Gate Park

Science museum with an aquarium, planetarium and natural history exhibits, and an all-green (eco-friendly) design. Evening parties each Thursday, with music, cash bar, entertainment, and guest lectures. $10. 18+. 6pm-10pm. Reg. $15-$25. 55 Music Concourse Drive. 379-8000. www.calacademy.org

Hats Off to Ongina @ Trigger

RuPaul's Drag Race Season One contestant appears at this fundraiser for local HIV-AIDS nonprofits. $10. 6pm-9pm. 2348 Market St. www.clubtrigger.com

Heidi McDowell @ Visual Aid

Exhibit of California landscapes. 5pm-7:30pm. 2pm-6pm Mon-Fri. Thru Mar. 26. 57 Post St. Suite 905. www.visualaid.org

Human Rights and Film @ Yerba Buena Arts Center

Weekly series of features about human rights. Thursdays thru Mar. 28. $6-$8.  7:30pm. 701 Mission st. www.ybca.org

Original Plumbing @ Books Inc.

Amos Mac and Rocco Kayiatos, editors of trans male magazine, discuss their latest issue. Free. 7:30pm. 2275 Market St. at Noe. 864-6777. www.booksinc.net

Radar Reading @ SF Public Library

Showcase of emerging and underground authors, with Poppy Foxheart, Cassie J. Sneider, CA Conrad and Elyssa Joy Kilman; hosted by Michelle Tea. 6pm. Lower Level, Latino/Hispanic Community Meeting Room, 100 Larkin St. (at Grove. www.sfpl.org

Richard Rodriguez @ Jewish Community Center

Gay Latino writer discusses Fame, Oblivion and the Writing Life with author Steven J. Zipperstein. $10-$18. 8pm. 3200 California St. 292-1200.  www.jccsf.org

Fri 12

Alice in Wonderland
@ Castro Theatre

Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Ann Hathaway and others star in Tim Burton's wild take on Lewis Carroll's tale of a girl who falls down a rabbit hole and ends up in royal intrigue; in 3D, too (free glasses). $8-$10. 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, 9:45. Thru April 1 (no screenings Mar. 11, 14). 429 Castro St. 621-6120. www.castrotheatre.com

Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater @ Zellerbach Hall, Berkeley

Acclaimed dance company performs Ailey's popular Revelations, and other works in three different programs. $36-$62. 8pm. Thru Mar. 13. Also Sat 2pm, Sun 3pm. Bancroft Way at Telegraph., UC campus. www.calperformances.org

And Jesus Moonwalks the Mississippi @ Exit Theatre

Cutting Ball Theater's production of Marcus Gardley's fantasy play that blends mythology, gospel and humor. $15-$30. Thu-Sat 8pm. Sun 5pm. Thru April 11. 277 Taylor St. (800) 838-3006. www.cuttingball.com

Ascendance Project
@ Ashby Stage, Berkeley

Performer and mountaineer Isabel von Rittberg's fascinating new group dances based on rock-climbing risks, skills, and movement. $10-$25. 8pm. Also March 13; Mar. 14 at 3pm. 1901 Ashby Ave. (510) 225-8844. www.ascendanceproject.com   

Bay Area One-Acts Festival
@ Boxcar Theatre

9th annual festival of eleven short plays by local playwrights. $12-$24. Various times. Thru Mar. 13. 505 Natoma St. 776-7427. www.threewisemonkeys.org  

Beebo Brinker Chronicles @ Brava Theater Center

West Coast premiere of Kate Moira Ryan & Linda S. Chapman's stage adaptation of Ann Bannon's classic lesbian novels. $20-$30. Thu-Sun 8pm. (Mar 7, 3pm). Thru Mar. 13. 2781 24th St. 641-2822. www.brava.org

Beware the Ides of March @ Dog-Eared Books

Author Alvin Orloff welcomes writers Carrie Hall, Johnny Strike, and Roger Pinnell in an evening of reading and music. Free. 8pm. 900 Valencia St. at 29th. www.dogearedbooks.com

The Caucasian Chalk Circle @ A.C.T.

John Doyle (director of recent updated stagings of Company and Sweeney Todd) takes on Bertolt Brecht's masterpiece about a servant girl in a war-torn country, an abandoned baby, and a corrupt judge. $10-$82. Tue-Sat 8pm. Wed, Sat, Sun 2pm. Thru Mar. 14. 415 Geary St. 749-2228. www.act-sf.org  

Chelsea Handler @ Masonic Auditorium/Davies Hall

Comic and TV host does two back-to-back shows at Masonic Auditorium ($46-$76, 8pm, 1111 California St. 776-4702), then 10:30pm at Davies ($45-$112, 10:30pm, 201 Van Ness Ave. 864-6000). www. chelseahandler.com  

Cultural Encounters @ de Young Museum

Friday night events return with parties, presentations, panels and, well, partying. Free (museum admission $10-$27) 5pm-8:45pm. Golden Gate Park.  www.famsf.org 

East 14th @ The Marsh Berkeley

True Tales of a Reluctant Player, Don Reed's about a god-fearing church boy who finds out his father's a pimp. $2-$35. Fri 9pm, Sun 7pm. Thru Mar. 28. 2120 Allston Way. (800) 838-3006.  www.themarsh.org

Global Lives Project
@ Yerba Buena Arts Center

Collaborative exhibit of filmmakers, photographers, artists and everyday people working together to create a video library of human life experience. The show features 240 hours of video of Brazil, Malawi, Japan, China, Indonesia, India, Serbia, Lebanon, Kazakhstan and the US. $8-$12. Thru June 20. 701 Mission St. 978-2787. www.globallives.org    www.ybcafree.org

The Human Figure @ John Pence Gallery

Group exhibit of realist painters' portraits, nudes, sculptures and other works. Mon-Fri 10am-6pm (Sat til 5pm) thru April 10. 750 Post St. 441-1138. www.johnpence.com

Kit Kennedy, Judy Wells @ Nefeli Café, Berkeley

Two poets read from their latest work. Open mic as well. 7pm. 1854 Euclid Ave. (510) 841-6374.

ODC @ Yerba Buena Arts Center

Opening night gala for the new season of Oberlin Dance Collective works by Brenda Way's acclaimed company. $10-$100. 7pm. Thu-Sun thru March 28. Novellus Theater, 700 Howard St. 978-ARTS. www.odcdance.org  www.ybca.org

Oedipus el Rey @ Magic Theatre

Luis Alfaro's updated Latino version of Sophocles' tragedy, re-set in modern California prisons, highways and cities, with a live musical chorus, and gorgeous Joshua Torrez in the lead role. $20-$55. Wed-Sat 8pm. Sun 2pm-7pm. Thru March 14. Bldg. D, Fort Mason center, Marina Blvd at Buchanan.  www.magictheatre.org  

O Lovely Glowworm @ Zeum Theater

American Conservatory Theatre's MFA Program student perform Glen Berger's imaginative play set in World War I Ireland, with soldiers, mermaids, unicorns and others on a fantastical quest for meaning. $15-$20. Wed-Sat 8pm. Sun 2pm. Thru March 20. Yerba Buena Gardens, 4th St. at Howard. 749-2228. www.act-sf.org

Paula West @ The Rrazz Room

Outstanding local voclaist performs cabaret, jazz and standard classics. $35-$45. 8pm. Thru March 14 (7pm). Hotel Nikko, lobby level, 222 Mason St. www.theRrazzRoom.com

The Real Americans @ The Marsh

Dan Hoyle (Tings Dey Happen) premieres a new multiple-character solo show based on his road trip to Middle America to explore the profound disconnect in a politically polarized country. $15-$50. Thu-Fri 8pm. Sat 5pm. Thru May 30. 1062 Valencia St. at 21st. (800) 838-3006. www.themarsh.org  

Suddenly, Last Summer @ Actors Theatre

Tennessee Williams' psychological stage play about a "mad" girl, her delusional mom and a curious doctor, and Sebastian, the offstage dead gay guy. $14-$40. Thu-Sat 8pm.  855 Bush St. 345-1287. www.actorstheatresf.org

The Sugar Witch
@ New Conservatory Theatre

Nathan Sanders' Southern Gothic tale of a cursed farm family with dark secrets. $14-$40. Wed-Sat 8pm. Sun 2pm. Thru April 11. 25 Van Ness Ave, lower level. 861-8972. www.nctcsf.org  

There Are No Gays in Iran @ Café du Nord

Iranian-American Boston-based comic Mehran Khaghani, lus Amir Malekpour, Tissa Hami and Max Amini, dispell myths and muses about their culture through humor. $35. 8pm. 2170 Market St. 861-5016. www.iranian.com/comedyshow.html  www.cafedunord.com

Sat 13

Anarchist Book Fair @ County Fair Bldg.

Dozens of vendors, lots of readings and panels, all about independent and politically focused literature. Cafe, kid space, valet bike parking and more. 10am-6pm. Also Mar. 14, 11am-5pm. Golden Gate Park, 9th Ave. at Lincoln Way. 431-8355. www.sfbookfair.wordpress.com

The Art of Emily: A Strange Collection @ Gallery Extrana, Berkeley

Exhibit of prints and original art from the Emily Strange Dark Horse books graphic novels. Thru April 10. 2912 Telegraph Ave. www.emilystrange.com www.galleryextrana.blogspot.com

Beach Blanket Babylon @ Club Fugazi

Musical comedy revue, now in its 35th year, with ever-changing lineup of political and pop culture icons, all in gigantic wigs. $25-$80. Wed, Thu 8pm. Fri, Sat 6:30, 9:30pm. Sun 2pm, 5pm. (Beer/wine served; cash only). 678 Beach Blanket Babylon Blvd. 421-4222. www.beachblanketbabylon.com

Bestiary @ Femina Potens

Exhibit of erotic paintings (and other media) by Melissa Steckbauer, Molly Schafer, Danielle de Picciotto and Monica Canilao with a carnal mythology. Thru Mar. 28. 2199 Market St. at Sanchez. 864-1558. www.feminapotens.org

Cesar's Latin All Stars @ Metronome Dance Center

Weekly live music by the orchestra, with salsa, Latin and other dance instruction and open dancing for same-sex and opposite-sex couples. $8-$12. 9pm-2am. Also Saturdays. 1830 17th St. at DeHaro. 252-9000. www.metronomedancecenter.com  

Cirque du Soleil @ San Jose

Montreal circus' show Ovo, about insects, plays in the South Bay. $45-$135. Tue-Sat 8pm. Also Fri-Sat 4pm, Sun 1pm, 5pm. Thru March 21. Taylor St. Bridge at Highway 87. (800) 450-1480. www.cirquedusoleil.com

Concerning Strange Devices from the Distant West @ Berkeley Repertory

World premiere of a new play by Naomi Iizuka about how 1880s photography drastically changed how we see foreign cultures. $14-$71. Tue—Sat 8pm (Wed Sun 7pm), also Thu Sat Sun 2pm. Roda Theatre, 2015 Addison St. www.berkeleyrep.org

David King @ Underglass

Opening reception for an exhibit of the local collage artist's intricately designed and sometimes whimsical and homoerotic imagery. 6pm-9pm. Thru May 1. 268 Church St. at 15th. 252-9844.   www.davidkingcollage.com   www.underglassframing.com

The Importance of Being Earnest
@ Town Hall Theatre, Lafayette

East Bay production of Oscar Wilde's Victorian satire of manners. $22-$30. Thu-Sat 8pm. Thru Mar. 27. 3535 School St. (925) 283-1557. www.TownHallTheatre.com

Justin Bond @ The Rrazz Room

Comic chanteuse performs Angels of the Morning: The Ladies of AM Radio. $30. 10pm. Also Mar. 13 at 11:30pm. Hotel Nikko, lobby level, 222 Mason St. www.theRrazzRoom.com

Korean Comics: A Society Through Small Frames @ SF Public Library

Opening day of a new traveling exhibit about the rise of comic books and pop art in Korea. Jewett Gallery, Main Library, 100 Larkin St., lower level. 557-4277.  www.sfpl.org

Over Our Heads @ Montclair Women's Cultural Arts Club, Oakland

Women's comedy improv group performs their lively humorous sketches. $20-$50. 8pm. Also Mar. 14, 10am, with brunch. 650 Mountain Blvd. (510) 339-1832. www.montclairwomensartsclub.com

Pastor Tom Show @ KUSF

Dr. Tom Polcari's LGBT music and talk show. 4pm. Weekly on 90.3 FM.

Pearls Over Shanghai @ The Hypnodrome

Thrillpeddlers' revival of the comic mock operetta by Link Martin and Richard Koldewyn, performed by the gender-bending Cockettes decades ago, and loosely based on the 1926 play The Shanghai Gesture. $30-$69. 8pm. Extended, Fri & Sat thru April 24. 575 10th. (800) 838-3006.  www.thrillpeddlers.com

Perverts Put Out @ CounterPulse

Jane Cassell, Sherilyn Connelly, Gina de Vries, Thomas Roche, horehound stillpoint, and MCs Dr. Carol Queen and Simon Sheppard explore the holiday theme "He Is Risen" at the night of saucy sexy readings. $10-$15. 7:30pm. 1310 Mission St. at 9th. www.counterpulse.org

Point Break Live @ Metreon Action Theater

Ridiculous live staged version of the surfer-bank robber movie, where a chosen audience member plays Keanu Reeves' role with cue cards. Warning; wear cheap clothes. Rain tarps provided, but you will get wet and/or fake-bloody. $25. 9pm. Fri & Sat. Open run. (866) 811-4111. www.pointbreaklivesf.com

Queericulum @ Mama Calizo's Voice Factory

Daylong educational, homocentric urban retreat featuring daytime workshops (nude yoga, Bootierobics, drag makeover), an evening "SkinnyFat" dinner theater cabaret with Suppositori Spelling, Glamamore, SFBoylesque, HystErica, BJ Browne, Miss Rahni, and a nighttime dance party. $20-$30. 10am-2am. 1519 Mission St. at 11th. www.playajoy.org/queericulum  

SF Hiking Club @ Cascade Falls

Join GLBT hikers for a 12-mile hike to visit waterfalls in Marin County. Trails will be muddy, and fording of creeks might be required. Bring water, lunch, layers, hat, waterproof boots, water shoes, etc. Carpool meets 9:00 at Safeway sign, Market St. at Dolores. 505-7390. www.sfhiking.com

Singin' in the Rain @ Berkeley Playhouse

Stage adaptation of the classic musical film about the hilarious clash of sound movies, big egos, and dancing performers. $19-$28. Fri-Sun 8pm. some Thursdays. Thru March 21. Julia Morgan Center for the Arts, 2640 College Ave. www.berkeleyplayhouse.org

St. Patrick's Day Parade @ Civic Center

Colorful floats, Irish dancers, food, beer gardens and entertainment. Parade at 11:30am, Market St. at 2nd. Stages, food, beverages in Civic Center. 10am-5pm. (800) 310-6563. www.sresproductions.com  

Teatro Zinzanni @ Pier 29

Hearts on Fire is the new show at the theatre-tent-dinner extravaganza with new guest chanteuse Thelma Houston, comic singer El Vez, singer Christine Deaver, plus magic, comedy, aerial acts, a five-course dinner, and a lot of fun. $117-$145. Saturday 11:30am "Breve" show $63--$78. Wed-Sat 6pm (Sun 5pm). Pier 29 at Embarcadero Ave. 438-2668. www.teatrozinzanni.com   

Various Exhibits @ SF MOMA

Modern art museum celebrates its 75th anniversary. Among the ongoing exhibits: Long Play: Bruce Connor and the Singles Collection (amazing film collages), The View From Here (San Francisco photography), Ewan Gibbs' San Francisco landscape drawings, painter Luc Tuymans, and a rotating permanent "classic modern" collection.  Free-$15. 151 Third St. at Mission. 357-4000.   www.sfmoma.org

Wicked @ Orpheum Theatre

Mega-hit musical –based on the book about the two famous Oz witches as young college roommates. $30-$99. Tue-Sat 8pm. Wed, Sat, Sun 2pm. Sun 7:30pm. Open run. 1192 Market St. at 8th. $30. 512- 7770. www.shnsf.com

Sun 14

Bill Bowers @ Glama-Rama Salon

Apocalypse of the Moon, an exhibit of the wearable art and wall hangings of legendary Bill Bowers, whose art-clothes have been worn by rock stars, and whose Cockettes designs have become a part of gay history. 417 South Van Ness Ave. at 15th. 861-4526.  www.queer-arts.org/bowers/   www.glamarama.com

Cabaret Showcase Showdown @ Martuni's

Katya Ludmilla Smirnoff-Skyy and Mrs. Trauma Flintstone cohost the second season of the singing competition. This week, Best International stylings are judged by Madame Jo and Michael Mohammed. $5. 7pm. 4 Valencia St. at Market. www.dragatmartunis.com   

Cartier and America @ Legion of Honor

Exhibit showing the history of the House of Cartier from its first great successes as the "king of jewelers and jeweler to kings" during the Belle Epoque through to the 1960s and 1970s, when Cartier supplied celebrities of the day with their jewels and luxury accessories. $6-$10. Tue-Sun 9:30am-5:15pm. Lincoln Park, 34th Avenue and Clement St. 750-3600. www.legionofhonor.org

Five O'Clock Jive @ Live Art Gallery

Swing dancing for same-sex partners and pals. 7:30-9:30pm. 7pm beginners class. Also, lessons and dancing other nights; Monday Salsa, Tuesdays Charleston, Wednesdays Lindy Hop, Thursdays Ballroom: $35 for a series of lessons/$10 drop-in). 151 Potrero Ave. at 15th. www.QueerJitterbugs.com

Happy Hour @ Energy Talk Radio

Fun interview show with gay writer Adam Sandel as host. 8pm. www.EnergyTalkRadio.com

Michael Kruzich @ Sweet Inspiration

Exhibit of mosaics based on photos and classical art. Thru May 1. 2239 Market St. www.mkmosaics.com

Shanghai @ Asian Art Museum

New exhibit about Asian artists from Shanghai, 130 works exploring and visualizing the city's vibrant and turbulent history. $7-$17. 200 Larkin St. 581-3500.  www.asianart.org

Sunday's a Drag @ Starlight Room

Donna Sachet and Harry Denton host the weekly fabulous brunch and drag show. $30. 11am, show at noon; 1:30pm, show at 2:30pm. 450 Powell St. in Union Square. 395-8595. www.harrydenton.com

Tutankhamun and the
Golden Age of the Pharaohs @ de Young Museum

Fascinating exhibit of ancient Egyptian artifacts from the famous empire, set in a maze-like series of galleries. Also, Amish Abstractions: Quilts from the Collection of Faith and Stephen Brown features 48 full-size and crib quilts that showcase the diversity of the Amish quilt tradition. Also, Yua, Spirit of the Arctic: Eskimo and Inuit Art from the Collection of Thomas G. Fowler; nearly 100 objects from approximately 500 B.C. to the contemporary era, with snow goggles, kayak models, cribbage boards, animal carvings, dolls, and stone sculptures in a variety of materials. $6.50-$27.50. Daily 9am-9pm. Thru March 2010. Golden Gate Park, 50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Drive (877) 888-8587. www.deyoungmuseum.org

Mon 15

Queer Ballroom @ Live Art Gallery

Weekly beginners same-sex dance classes in salsa and other styles. Also swing classes on Wednesdays, Standard ballroom Thursdays, $10 each, $35 for series. 151 Potrero Ave. 305-8242. www.QueerBallroom.com

Richard Dodds @ Magnet

Exhibit of fascinating faux-vintage gay erotica paintings by the BAR theatre critic. Thru March. 4122 18th St. at Castro. www.magnetsf.org  

Rosa Sat, Martin Walked & Barack Ran @ SF Art Exchange

Exhibit of 50 photographs by nine photographers visualizing African-American leaders of change. 458 Geary St. at Mason. (800) 344-9633.  Thru Mar. 31. www.sfae.com

Ten Percent @ Comcast 104

David Perry's new talk show about LGBT local issues. 11:30am & 8pm. Mon-Thu. www.davidperry.com

U.S. Naval Academy Men's Glee Club @ Grace Cathedral

Uniformed singing Navy men perform mastepieces of choral-orchestral literature. $10-$20. 7:30pm. 392-4400. 1100 California St. www.gracecathedral.org  

Victor Arimondi @ SF Public Library

A Compassionate Eye: the Work of Victor Arimondi, an exhibit of photos by the prolific late gay Italian photographer. Hormel Center, 100 Larkin St. www.victorarimondi.net   www.sfpl.org

Tue 16

Buddhist Meditation Classes
@ Kadampa Buddhist Temple

Tessa Logan teaches drop-in meditation classes. $10. 7-8:45pm. 3324 17th St. 503-1187. www.meditationinnortherncalifornia.org

The Drag Show @ Channel 29/76

New weekly talk show with local drag performers; Zachary Davenport and Stu Smith cohost. Free (with cable). 7:30pm.

Funny Tuesdays @ Harvey's

Weekly LGBT and gay-friendly comedy night; this week, Susan Maletta guest-hosts, Mary Von Note, Miles K, and Jen Slusser. Free. One-drink minimum. 9pm. 500 Castro St. at 18th. 431-HARV. www.harveyssf.com  

Legally Blonde: The Musical @ San Jose Performing Arts Center

Comic musical based on the hit movies about a sorority girl who takes on the government. $22-$88. Tue-Thu 7:30pm, Fri-Sat 8pm. Sat 2pm. Sun 1pm, 6pm. Thru March 21. 255 Almaden Blvd. (408) 792-4111. www.broadwaysanjose.com  

Passionate Struggle @ GLBT Historical Society

Re-opening of the successful Castro district exhibit, now relocated to the society's main space, about Bay Area LGBT historical events and people. Also, Keepin' On: Images of African American Lesbians from the Brooklyn Lesbian Herstory Archives. Free/donations. 657 Mission St. #300. 777-5455. www.glbthistory.org

Plastic Camera Show @ Rayko Photo

Group exhibit of unusually creative prints, including the work of Czech artist Michael Borek. Tue-Thu 10am-10pm. Fri-Sun 10am-8pm. Thru April 17. 428 3rd St. www.raykophoto.com  

SF Boylesque @ Infusion Lounge

Naughty neo-burlesque show of saucy circusy dancing and singing. No cover. 21+. 9pm. 124 Ellis St. www.sfboylesque.com

Tony Torrez @ Cigar Bar & Grill

Opening reception for an exhibit of Native American-inspired artwork. 7pm-10pm. Thru March. 850 Montgomery St. www.cigarbarandgrill.com

Yoga Classes @ LGBT Center

Fun, friendly weekly classes, for beginners or experienced, with Bill Mohler. $10-$20. 6:30pm. Also Wednesdays. Room 302, 1800 Market St. at Octavia. www.billmohleryoga.com www.sfcenter.org

Wed 17

Crime/Noir Writers @ CounterPulse

Owen Hill, Jim Nisbet, Summer Brenner and Peter Maravelis discuss their own and others' work in the noir fiction genre. Free. 7:30pm. 1310 Mission St. at 9th. www.counterpulse.org

Dancers' Group @ Citywide

Onsite outdoor dance series performs Intimate Visibility by LevyDance. All shows free. Tonight, 8pm in North Beach's Washington Square, then 9pm in Union Square. Additional shows thru Mar. 26 at various SF locations. www.dancersgroup.org  

Depth & Distance III @ LGBT Center

Out of the Closet and On the Wall, a group exhibit of art by seniors and disabled clients at New Leaf. 1800 Market St. at Octavia. www.sfcenter.org  

D'lo @ Brava Theater Center

Sri Lankan transgender solo performer takes on a variety of characters with personal stories in Ramble-ations. $10-$25. Thu-Sat 8pm. Sun 3pm. Thru April 3. Also, "Writing for Performance" and "Queer Masculinity" workshops March 15-April 6; $100. 2781 24th St. 641-2822. www.brava.org

Eat, Pray, Laugh! @ Off-Market Theatre

Alicia Dattner's solo show about a Jewish "princess" seeking spiritual salvation in India. $20. Wed only. 8pm. Thru March 31. 965 Mission St. www.aliciadattner.com

Gay Skate @ Redwood Roller Rink

The weekly GLBT roller-skating night is worth the drive. $7. 8pm-10pm. 1303 Main St. Redwood City. (650) 574-8148. www.myspace.com/gayrainbowskate  

Gilberto Gil @ Zellerbach Hall, Berkeley

Grammy-winning Brazilian composer/guitarist debuts his String Concert, an acoustic reinterpretation of some of his original songs. $36-$76. 8pm. UC Berkeley campus, Bancroft Way at Telegraph.  (510) 642-9988. www.calperformances.org

LizzieMovesCo @ The Garage

Space Garbage, a new dance-theatre work by Lizzie Karr, about space travel and glamour. $10-$20. 8pm. Also Mar. 11. 975 Howard St. 885-4006. www.975howard.com

Man-I-Fest @ GLBT Historical Society

New exhibit of letters and documents by FTM transgender pioneer Lou Harrison and friends. 657 Mission St. at 3rd, 3rd floor. www.glbthistory.org

Margaret Harrison
@ Intersection for the Arts

The Bodies are Back, an exhibit of the daring feminist pop art of the UK-based, sometimes censored, visual artist who crashes gender identity. Wed-Sat 12pm-5pm. 446 Valencia St. at 15th. www.theintersection.org

Smack Dab @ Magnet

Kirk Read and Larry-bob Roberts cohost the queerly eclectic reading/music open mic series, with guest singer Carl with Records. Sign-up 7:30. Show 8pm. 4122 18th St. www.magnetsf.org

Van Darkholme @ Mister S

Exhibit of hot men in rope bondage by the local photographer. Free. 385 8th St. Daily 11am-7pm. www.fpedge.com/exhibit_pages/mr_s/mr_s_venue.htm

Thu 18

Art International
@ Concourse Exhibition Center

Gala preview benefits Glide Foundation and Imagine Bus Project; 7pm-10pm $65-$100. General $15. Fri 11am-8pm, Sat til 7pm, Sun til 5pm. 620 7th St. www.artinternationalfair.com

Artworkers IV @ Eros

Exhibit of erotic art by employees of the local sex club, including Ernest Frost, Matt Sachs, Jeremy Sanders, and Loren Bruton. Free, all genders welcome. 18+. 2051 Market St. 255-4921. www.erossf.com

The Future Lasts Forever @ SF CameraWork

Part two of the group photography exhibit An Autobiography of the San Francisco Bay Area, including prints by gay artists Jack Fritscher and Robert Mapplethorpe. Thru April. Tue-Sat 12pm-5m. 657 Mission St. 2nd fl. 512-2020. www.sfcamerawork.org   

Human Rights and Film @ Yerba Buena Arts Center

Weekly series of features about human rights. Thursdays thru Mar. 28. $6-$8.  7:30pm. 701 Mission st. www.ybca.org

Kevin Killian @ Books Inc.

Prolific gay author of edgy tales reads from and discusses Impossible Princess, his new short fiction collection. 7:30pm. 2275 Market St. at Noe. 864-6777. www.booksinc.net

Sara Kraft @ Yerba Buena Arts Center

Bay Area artist's HyperReal, a multidisciplinary performance that intimately addresses the human condition in our digital age. $10-$25. 8pm. Thru March 20. Forum, 701 Mission St. 978-2787, www.ybca.org

For bar and nightclub listings, go to 'In the Bars'.

____________________________________________

To submit event listings, email jim@ebar.com

Deadline is each Thursday, a week before publication.

To submit event listings, email a full press release in the body of the

email (Word docs and PDF attachments discouraged) with all information (see listings for example; include street address, admission prices, public contact phone number, web site and descriptive info).   If available, provide color medium-resolution images (maximum two megabytes; jpg only, no gifs, tiffs, PDFs or BMPs; can you believe people still send BMP [bitmaps]?) of performers or events, with photographer's name for credit. Links to online image galleries preferred. Once again, the deadline is each Thursday, a week before publication.